Questions

I have been thinking about what to say for a few weeks now that everything is officially finished that pertains to the death of my daughter Shanny. She is always in my thoughts every day, and I visit her memorial as often as I can when the weather allows. I dust her urn regularly and I hug it often. The fits of crying are not as regular but they are still there because the pain gets to be more than I can handle but I still wake up and take care of the family I love more than anything, but things are not settled in my head or heart because I have more questions than I have answers. I know I will undoubtedly never have those answers but the thing is they just won’t go away; so maybe if I ask them like this maybe it will settle my mind and heart for a while because asking them out loud makes me so angry and hurt that functioning becomes a daily fight until I can work through it (it’s a horrible circle to be caught in). I know I am asking a lot venting this here so thank you for letting me for those who read this and I am sorry to those who just don’t want to know or care.

I read all of the police reports, now that we are ALLOWED to see them, seems to me the victims should be allowed to have access to them during the process so they can know when they are being snow balled by those that are supposedly fighting for them and to also make informed decisions and question why certain things were done or in our case NOT done. For example, according to the police reports no citations were issued to Kevin Milanez-Gomez, no MIP, DUII, not even for reckless driving or plowing through the stop sign citation (He didn’t even have a license or a permit to drive). Why would the Yamhill County Sheriff’s office fail to do such an important task when fatalities were involved? Then there is the question of which idiot from the same Sheriff’s office made the decision to recall the accident re-enactment team? Which could have been used as evidence against Kevin and his accomplice Dianna Muniz, ensuring a Measure 11 sentence. How could the Yamhill County Sheriff’s Office drop the ball so badly that my daughter’s killer only gets 6.3 years (and he probably won’t even serve the full sentence) for her death AND the death of her friend Jake? How?

My next questions are for the D. A.s office and Yamhill County. Was it okay for the D. A., Brad Berry, himself to promise he would not settle for anything less that a Measure 11 sentence? Then turn around a piss backwards on the victims in the case by allowing his minion D. D. A. Alicia Eagan to settle for a much lesser charge. He promised a room full of us that he would have the case go to trial before settling for anything less than a Measure 11 sentence. Is it also okay for the D. D. A. Alicia Eagan to stand up in open court and lie to a Judge and a court room full of hurting people who loved Shanny by saying she had no evidence. She had the drug test results that proved that he was high and he had admitted to smoking a joint before ever leaving his home, but she claimed Oregon did not have a legal limit (We will get to that shortly) and the result would be set aside in court, which to my mind made her all bark and know bite because she bragged about how she could get a Measure 11 conviction in a trial. She didn’t even try to fight for us, what does that say about her? All she cared about was her robot club and her trophy.

The question we have for the State of Oregon is very simple, the law makers knew when the stupid Pot Smoking law, that never should have been voted in, was going to go into effect, why weren’t they prepared? Why didn’t they set a legal limit for the state before the law from hell went into effect? WHY? Most states that have legalized pot have a legal limit of 5ng, so again why wasn’t Oregon proactive? It would have helped when the D. A.’s office didn’t want to make precedent in a court room. How am I to have faith in my elected officials when they have failed us by not doing what they should have done before it was too late?

The other question, I have asked myself is where were Kevin and Dianna’s parents in all this? I do hold them just culpable in this as their children. I think that says it all, especially when we were being harassed on social media while we were mourning and wanting justice.

For the record we do believe that Dianna Muniz is an accessory in the death of our Shanny and her friend Jake (even though the state says she is a victim, she was in a car with an unlicensed person who supposedly took said car without permission), because one witness said that as she was driving behind them she could see that there was something going on in the car in front of her but was unsure about what exactly. Then there is the fact the we heard that the Grand Jury felt she was lying to them and according to the police she would not talk to them without a lawyer, really? If she were truly an innocent person in all of this then she would have told the truth. And to add insult to injury she is still using pot according to her Facebook page and Instagram, did she not learn anything from hers and Kevin’s bad choices? Just from that information, alone I feel like Dianna could careless about what she and Kevin had done to my daughter and Jake because she didn’t have any consequences for her actions.

Where am I now? Well, I can’t stand hearing sirens any more, to many sirens and I go to pieces and functioning is next to impossible. Accidents on the road and I turn around and go home unless someone is with me. I also have a growing anxiety about driving, especially if I am alone in the car, that I wondered I how I managed to stay a bus driver while my son finished high school. This has not been easy on anyone in my family, we are all affected but I can only share how it has affected me because putting everyone’s pain into words would not be right because that is theirs to tell. But for me, no words could ever truly do just to the hell that Kevin and Dianna have forced upon us and everyday it is a fight for me to get out of bed to face another day without one of my precious babies.

I talk about it, mostly because people tell me I need to talk about it; but I don’t think it solves anything, it won’t stop the anxiety caused every time I hear sirens or whenever I have to drive some where by myself or when we prepare to leave for a trip or vacation. It won’s stop the feeling that something (more like someone) is missing at every holiday and family gathering or the sadness that is ever present in our daily lives (even during happy moments) and it most certainly won’t bring Shanny back to us. But, who knows maybe some day some one will listen and someday it will stop the system from failing another victimized family.

If you read this thank you for listening, so to speak.

Kevin’s Test Results

Part of police report which was 99 pages but whats funny is the parts of the report that I received from another source are not part of the reports I got from the Yamhill County Sheriffs Office