Anaconda: The Writer’s Cut by Hans Bauer

January 23, 2014
Balloon Foot Press

I have always said and truly believed that the book is always better than the movie but in this case I would be wrong in making that statement.

Easter and a group of other teachers decide to spend their summer hunting the Amazon for gold. When greed gets the better of them and snakes start eating them their summer changes from fun to fighting for their lives.

The story line is good but the book falls flat I was so bored that I was switching books after two pages. I tried though, I really tried I was able to finish a quarter of the book before I skipped to the back to see how it ended. If the author had stopped the book at the death of the last snake or had Mike and Easter in a major make out moment then maybe that would have been good but he didn’t and the ending became flat.

Hans Bauer wrote a good screenplay about giant snakes that translated into a scary movie that had me jump and scream but the book though different than the movie left bored and yawning and I just can’t finish it believe me I really tried but this book just didn’t do it for me.

Book’s Cover Rating
The cover is probably the best part of the whole book

Book’s Blurb Rating
Match the boring of the book. I figured the book had potential after seeing the movie so I ignored my instincts and got it anyway.

Book’s Blurb
In 1994, film writer Hans Bauer wrote a screenplay for what would become the hit movie “Anaconda.” Today he presents this original vision in his new novel Anaconda: “The Writer’s Cut.” Movie fans have long embraced the “director’s cut” versions of their favorite films in the home video market. Now, Bauer pioneers the “writer’s cut,” introducing readers to a new medium for book lovers.

“It has been said that, among the continents, South America will teach it to you: God and the Devil are the same; this last great reservoir of primordial wilderness is at once both Garden of Eden and green sweltering Hell.”

In an epic adventure, twenty-something, middle-school biology teacher Andie Easter and six young colleagues who, in the dead of a Chicago winter, hatch a plan to spend their summer in Brazil, hoping to reverse their meager fortunes by joining a modern-day gold rush on a tributary of the mighty Amazon.

Disoriented and increasingly isolated, the treasure hunters stray into the remote domain of three colossal snakes: daughter, mother, grandmother. One by one, under terrifying circumstances, the teachers fall victim to the devastating effects of gold fever and the relentless brutality of the primeval South American jungle. Andie Easter must discover her inner Amazon to avoid becoming prey for the Mother of All Snakes.